Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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