.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize