I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
