I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
