i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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