I'm jealous of your bromance
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize