I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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