i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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