What did we do last night that was yellow?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
