Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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