Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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