I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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