We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she smelled like a LAN party
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
