I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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