then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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