we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
