Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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