She said her name was "party"
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
