I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
