Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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