That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
