I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
