I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
