I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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