everyone is single if you try hard enough
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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