I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
