Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
