It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Girls should come with a carfax report
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
