erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
