Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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