I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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