i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
