Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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