Dual....:-)
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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