I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
