just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
