it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
