he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
