I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
