You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize