We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
