and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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