My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
