you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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