Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
