Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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