I'm really into asian looking animals
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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