she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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