The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am midnight drunk by noon
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
