I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
