I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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