Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
