"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
