It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
