I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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