So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
