So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The power of my boobs compel you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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