Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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