Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
