we're chasing vodka with high fives
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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