We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
false alarm. still invincible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
