i dont even know how to be here
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
