I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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