I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
