My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
