Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
