I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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