this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
