He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
