PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
