I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize